This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the Television Letdowns of the Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like consuming a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.